[Subtitles by danielsangeo]
I am ready. Bestow your
knowledge upon--
Wait, this is that stupid room again!
WHAT'S THE POINT OF TELEPORTERS IF YOU
CAN ONLY TELEPORT INTO THE NEXT ROOM?!
YOU DON'T MAKE NINE FUCKING
PROTOTYPES WITH THE SAME DESIGN FLAW!
No... there's nothing
here. I know that.
All right, there's some
I haven't tried.
Merry-go-round techno bullshit...
So, wait, how does
this know to teleport me?
Does it detect organic compounds?
But that wouldn't make sense, then
I'd be naked like in the Terminator.
The suit wouldn't make it.
I mean, maybe the suit has
some carbon fiber... I don't know.
But the metal wouldn't pass.
Maybe it scans everything that's not
the ground or air and teleports that?
But then wouldn't dust
pile up at the exit?
Yeah, what am I
talking about? "Scanners"...
Okay, I haven't tried THIS one.
I guess I could climb the fence.
All right, I've already tried "8".
The big teleporters are exactly the same.
This one looks kind of fucked up.
Okay, I'll try "7", then if that
doesn't work, I'll climb the fence.
Yeah, "scanners"... We have
don't have computers that would
even come CLOSE to scanning all
the atoms in a human body.
One fantasy at a time.
Because that's what this is.
There's just no explanation for anything.
Ah, now I'm going to wait so that
other green ball doesn't kill me.
It's been a long since I've done that,
since every moment has been one
worst case scenario after another.
Obviously, no one was ever meant to be
in this room or walk in it, but here I am.
[Geiger counter ticking]
Is this a reactor?
[Geiger counter ticking]
The Geiger counter's not ticking
[Geiger counter ticking]
quite that high, but, shit...
I think there's a passageway
on the other end, maybe...
All right, well, I haven't had enough
spinning today, so this is perfect.
Just what I was hoping for.
Wait, shit! No, noNONONO!
It's too bad there's nobody
shooting at me while I'm doing this!
That would really
complete the experience!
Okay, jump... Frogger from hell...
Jesus Christ, that looks
like a crematorium furnace.
Well, the rad levels are holding steady
so whatever's in there isn't any
worse than what's already here.
Maybe this reactor is
powered by human souls.
That would explain why
I've barely seen anyone.
I still have doubts about how much
"science" is involved with these teleporters.
What's that Arthur C. Clarke quote?
"Any sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from magic"?
Well, that doesn't RULE OUT magic!
Oh, yeah! That was smooth!
Okay, so the plan is I crawl in
there and somehow not die.
If I start to die, then I'll stop.
Yeah, I don't feel any heat.
Oh, I'm here. I could've just--
All right. No sense in
lamenting the past.
It probably just leads back to
that same room, but...
Wow! This door isn't locked!
I didn't think that was possible.
I was starting to suspect these
were all welded pieces of steel,
that were stolen from the
supports to the building, apparently.
Is this a real door? We will never know.
I have no tolerance for tardiness!
Unless it's me, but you
are SO obviously not me.
Sleeping on the job, huh?
Well, I'm not your boss. Carry on.
Yeah, I can't get over it. These
teleporters still make no sense.
Wouldn't canceling all
momentum stop my brain, too?
I can maybe buy that this was a
scientific breakthrough,
but this is such a fundamental
change in our understanding,
[metal groaning]
it would take a series of breakthroughs.
No, I think magic might
actually have a case here.
I mean, there was that
coven that summoned me,
and I'm pretty sure I saw some
candles, maybe a pentagram.
Don't play with fire if you're
not ready to get burned.
You brought this on yourself.
SCIENTIST: Gordon Freeman,
you finally found us.
GUARD: So, this is the guy. We
thought you'd never make it.
SCIENTIST: This is the supply
depot for our first survey team.
SCIENTIST: Quite a few handsome specimens
were collected from the border world,
SCIENTIST: and brought back this way.
SCIENTIST: Um, before the survey members
started being collected themselves, that is.
SCIENTIST: We suspect there is
an immense portal over there,
SCIENTIST: created by the intense
concentration of a single powerful being.
SCIENTIST: You will know it
when you see it.
SCIENTIST: I hate to say this, Gordon,
but you must kill it, if you can.
GUARD: Yeah, you'd BETTER kill it.
DON'T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, YOU--
SCIENTIST: 'course, you owe us
nothing, Mr. Freeman.
SCIENTIST: You know as much
about these creatures as anyone.
You just have to shoot 'em.
GUARD: --if you don't wipe it out, there
won't be much for you to come home to.
What about YOU, tough guy?
SCIENTIST: So, if you're willing,
SCIENTIST: my colleague is waiting for
you at the main portal controls.
SCIENTIST: He will open the gates
for you, Mr. Freeman. Do hurry.
GUARD: Don't forget to gear up.
GUARD: And I'll cover you while you're
waiting for that portal to warm up.
Listen, this portal thing sounds
great, but I need you to--
Are you walking away
as I'm talking to--
Hey, meatloaf. Tell your
friend with Asperger's,
I need to get teleported
to Massachusetts.
SCIENTIST: This, Mr. Freeman,
Oh, what now?
SCIENTIST: is the long jump module.
SCIENTIST: created expressly for
navigation in the world beyond.
SCIENTIST: I certainly hope you
received long jump training,
SCIENTIST: because once
you're in Xen, you will need it.
SCIENTIST: I would advise you to
practice before crossing over.
Zen and the Art of Long Jumping, huh?
Didn't take you for a Zen guy.
This thing would've been great YESTERDAY!
Man, I could tackle you so hard.
All right, I'll deal with you later.
First thing's first. I'm seeing
a lot of ammo lying around,
so I'm going to assume
you laid it out here for me.
Thanks. That's very
forward-thinking of you.
I'm not even going to ask why a
lab has so many small arms in here.
And, hey, I can't carry two,
but I'll take the rocket out.
It's just as well I'm
coming through here;
you two would only hurt yourself
with these given enough time.
Hey, it's another one of those
Ghostbuster props.
Well, you guys are
just full of goodies.
Well, I'm not touching THAT
but I'll take more explosives.
Explosives keep my options open
in a way nothing else can.
Now, what I REALLY need...
is a wheelbarrow.
I'll just take every
single thing I can carry.
But that's the least this
company can do for me,
and it WILL do more, but one
step at a time here.
Oh, these are explosives!
Wow, this is the most hardcore
lab storage I've seen in my life.
What's this, a prototype weapon?
Yeah, it's doing something.
WOW! That kicks like a shotgun!
This'd better be a weapon.
I really should try this
on a live target,
but there's going to be nothing
but drama if I shoot this guy in the leg.
Okay, I think I'm getting
close to my limit.
I can grab a couple things, but if I carry
much more, I'm going to need some duct tape.
All right, Tickle Me Bald Guy,
we've gotta talk.
Hey, forget this alien stuff. You need to
teleport me to Massachusetts, all right?
That's simple enough, I think
you can remember it.
[machine buzzing]
What the hell?
Heh, yeah, I guess I am
carrying some contraband.
Man, it's too bad these
teleporters aren't the duplicating kind,
then we can just tell it to not
destroy me on this end,
and I can create copies of myself.
Now, the conventional wisdom is
if you see a clone of yourself,
you should try to kill it, but I
think that's the view of a small mind.
SCIENTIST: Hello, Freeman!
Dah!
SCIENTIST: I'm up here!
SCIENTIST: Practice your long
jump if you must, but hurry up!
All right, all right. I'm
coming, just hold on.
Y'know, a ladder wouldn't kill you;
this catwalk has poor support as it is.
There's too much stress on the beam.
Actually, hold on. Is there an exit here?
Like, is there a snack machine in the
back or something? Because I could use that.
Hey, I don't know what they told you,
but I need you to teleport
me to Massachusetts.
If you can't swing that, just
get me to the nearest city
like Los Alamos or
Santa Fe would be fine.
I should be able to hijack
a ride, no problem.
SCIENTIST: All right, I can open
the portal now.
SCIENTIST: The process is complicated and
once it's begun, I must not be interrupted
SCIENTIST: or I will have to
start all over again.
SCIENTIST: DON'T enter the beam
until I give the okay. Understood?
I'll get out of your hair.
Just don't screw up.
Man, if the teleporter COULD
make a copy of me,
I should have a plan how to
unite myselves in the future,
so I need to have a plan NOW
before I make the jump, just in case.
I guess... I'll leave contact info
where I buried the gold. That'll work.
WHAT IS THAT?!
THEY CAN FLY NOW?!
HEY, YOU'VE GOT A FEW BUGS IN THE SYSTEM!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING,
BUT YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!
I'M PUTTING A LOT MORE TRUST IN
YOU THAN I WANT TO BE RIGHT NOW!
THEY KEEP COMING! YOU'VE HIT A NEST!
YOU NEED ME TO COME UP THERE?
BECAUSE THIS ISN'T WORKING!
SHUT IT DOWN! JUST SHUT IT DOWN!
HEY, IT'S DOING SOMETHING NOW!
SHOULD I GO-- WAAAAAAAAH!
I'M NOT WAITING; I'M GOING TO GO!
DON'T FUCK ME ON THIS!
[fzzt]
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--